To Porn or not to Porn?

     I woke up about a week ago without Vivian by my side.  This isn't particularly unusual as she typically is up before me as she goes to work earlier than I do.  I could hear her and the kids rustling around upstairs preparing for the day as I reached for my glasses and prepared to join them.  Then something stopped me, that feeling that no one knows that I am awake yet and I have a few minutes to myself.  Clearly I should take advantage of this time.  I layed back down on the bed and threw the covers back over me, settling into the warm bed as my hands traveled down my sides and slipped off my boxers.  Placing my hands on my cock and feeling it begin to grow to my attention.  I began to play with myself, squeezing lightly, running my hands over my thighs and balls, enjoying the way my own body felt in my hands.  As my cock got increasingly harder my mind wandered to times that Vivian and I have spent together, fantasies that I currently have, and the things I dreamed were going on in my bed at that moment.
     My mind doesn't play like a porn video when I masturbate but more like a highlight reel with images and scenarios jumping across my mind.  For example, Taking Vivian from behind as I did in the shower days before, fantasizing that Vivian is on her knees with my cock in her hands and mouth, pausing to look up at me with a devlish smile as she pulls her hair to the side and takes me back into her mouth, thinking about Vivian's bisexual desires and picturing her on all fours with her face buried in another womans pussy, while I fuck her from behind.........you get the idea :).  However, on this particular day I seemed to have a hard time bringing myself to orgasm, I really had to work for it.  As more dirty thoughts wandered through my mind  I tried to push back the fear that I wasn't going to cum. I grabbed the underside of my cock with my left hand and stroked my hard dick with my right hand increasingly faster.  My body tensed and I came hard, my body collapsing leisurely onto the pillow as I savored my morning alone.
    My difficulty achieving orgasm did make me realize that it was the first time in a while that I did not rely on porn to masturbate and that troubled me.  Had I lost touch with my own body as a result?  Therefore, I have taken a vow to myself that I am avoiding pornography for at least a month while I get back in touch with my own body.  It might also give me an excuse to blog more as my own creative juices should be flowing.  I'm actually quite excited about it, in fact I am home alone right now, I think I might have to head to the bedroom.